Review: TALES FROM THE CRYPT Flicks DEMON KNIGHT and BORDELLO OF BLOOD on Blu-ray

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Review: TALES FROM THE CRYPT Flicks DEMON KNIGHT and BORDELLO OF BLOOD on Blu-ray

SHOCK takes a critical look at a double-dose of TALES FROM THE CRYPT features on Blu-ray.

Every horror fan should steep themselves in the legacy of publisher William Gaines’ lamented EC Comics, the line of inky pulp trash responsible for such immortal and controversial 1950’s-weened titles as WEIRD SCIENCE, THE VAULT OF HORROR and, of course…TALES FROM THE CRYPT. The formula for these often imitated, never duplicated comics classics were simple: good (or bad) people make bad decisions and are rewarded justly by creepy karma, usually in the form of some class of shambling, rotten, undead vindicator. And man, were these tales cold around the heart…

The 1972 Amicus-produced EC adaption TALES FROM THE CRYPT got it right, adapting 5 grim tales, casting A list British talent against type and reveling in cruel, phantasmagorical punishments for people who most assuredly deserved it. Years later, the Rober Zemeckis, Richard Donner and Joel Silver produced HBO TV series TALES FROM THE CRYPT took those tales and jazzed them up with slick production values, explicit violence, dirty sex and broad humor, usually in the form of the giggling (and awesome) Crypt Keeper puppet, who, like in the comics, provided wraparound commentary for these shocking stories.

So popular was that series that Universal Pictures soon green-lit what was to be a series of big screen feature CRYPT films, expansions of the HBO show that were meant to both capitalize on the fan base and hook an even bigger audience not yet savvy to HBO’s pay for play charms. Three films were planned(at one point, Tarantino’s FROM DUSK TILL DAWN screenplay was scheduled to be an entry) but, as of this writing, only two “official” CRYPT films were made, with Rob Cohen’s 2002 I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE remake RITUAL later attached to the franchise for its DVD release.

On October 20th, Scream Factory will release both “legit” Crypt flicks on Blu-ray but before then, allow SHOCK to assess the releases and the films themselves….

TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS: DEMON KNIGHT (1995)

Horror fans that came of age in the 90’s have fond memories of DEMON KNIGHT, a film that wasn’t necessarily planned to be a TALES film but was modified to fit the format. Sort of. The film stars William Sadler as Brayker, a stranger who rolls into town and checks into a crumbling hotel, run by the great, and unfortunately late, CCH Pounder (who later on delivers the best middle-finger salute in film history).

The hotel is a rogue’s gallery of miscreants, grifters, greaseballs and broken souls and they’re played by an equally diverse set of actors like Thomas Hayden Church, Charles Fleischer and of course, the inimitable Dick Miller, all of whom deliver top notch, wonderfully committed turns.
While Brayker is setting up shop, a giggling bounty hunter (Billy Zane) appears and enlists the local authorities to help him find the supposedly dastardly drifter. And when he does finally find his quarry, he promptly sheds his skin (not literally, yet), decimates his Cop-panions and reveals his true nature: seems the grinning, faux-bounty hunter is in fact a demonic “collector” sent from Hell to retrieve the last of six keys that will unlock the portal between this world and the underworld. And guess who has the key?

Again, many horror fans of a certain vintage hold DEMON KNIGHT in very high regard and it’s easy to see why. The storyline is borderline epic, the special effects are stunning (the movie is virtual practical make-up FX meltdown), the cast is killer, the script is witty, Jada Pinkett Smith gives a career best performance as a tough heroine who faces down the Devil, the sex and gore firmly push the boundaries of its R rating, director Ernest Dickerson keeps it stylish and Zane…Zane…well, Zane gives the most batshit crazy, super-sonic performance since Nicolas Cage in VAMPIRE’S KISS. The man is a sight to behold and his manic energy keeps the entire thing glued together.

The only problem – and it’s kind of a big problem – is that despite its title and the fun, arch Crypt Keeper framing device, DEMON KNIGHT has almost zero to do with TALES FROM THE CRYPT. There’s no morality tale here. There’s no twist. There’s no bad-behavior-getting-punished-by forces-from-beyond-the-grave-stinger. There’s no sense of danger and the film aint scary at all. Instead what we have here is an enjoyable, campy, theologically-tinted monster mash, well-scripted, professionally acted and briskly paced. In fact, DEMON KNIGHT would fare far better had it been released as a stand-alone film without the baggage and expectations of the TALES title…

TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS: BORDELLO OF BLOOD (1996)

A supremely tacky follow-up to the surprisingly classy DEMON KNIGHT, director Gilbert Adler’s BORDELLO OF BLOOD casts smarmy, SNL “Weekend Update” comedian Dennis Miller as a smarmy P.I named Guttman who gets hired by former BAYWATCH babe Erika Eleniak to find her missing scumbag brother (played by a fresh out of rehab Corey Feldman). The trail leads him from grotty pool halls to the doorstep of a looming funeral home; said stiff factory is in fact a front for a demented backdoor brothel, run by a recently resurrected vampire queen named Lilith (played with leering charm by admitted non-actor and supermodel Angie Everhart) and its packed to the pantyline with bloodsucker hookers from hell.

BORDELLO was put together quickly and reportedly wasn’t exactly the cheeriest of sets (according to Feldman in the supplemental making-of dock, both Miller and Eleniak were a pair of diva-jerks on set) and that lack of camaraderie shows on screen. The make-up effects are less impressive as well (handled primarily by Canadian whiz Todd Masters), but really that’s more indicative of the fact that, well, these are just vampires after all and outside of fangs, arched brows and contacts, there aint much left to do with them…

That said, BORDELLO is in many ways a superior TALES FROM THE CRYPT entry. Adler had previously directed episodes of the show and the film feels like an amplified episode, brightly lit, garish and tricked out with even more sleaze, sex, blood and general luridness. Miller is miscast but often very funny, veteran Charles Band alumni actor Phil Fondacaro is great as Lilith’s liberator and henchman and the great Chris Sarandon (FRIGHT NIGHT) steals the movie as a guitar wailing televangelist whose treatise with the vampires is uneasy at best. And, in true CRYPT style, there is indeed a dose of nihilism injected into the finale that draws the flick back to its EC roots.

Scream Factory pack both discs with their usual assortment of A1 extras, the highlights of both which are a double-dose of features charting the behind the scenes action; they’re edifying and funny as hell and will make you care even more about the films themselves.

All in all, though, if it’s a real deal cinematic TALES FROM THE CRYPT experience ye be seeking, stick with George A. Romero’s 1982 classic CREEPSHOW. That’s as close to the pulp genius of Gaines and company that we’ve yet to see…

Yet.

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Exclusive Poster Reveal: Author Ken Hanley’s THE I IN EVIL

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Exclusive Poster Reveal: Author Ken Hanley’s THE I IN EVIL

SHOCK gets an eyeful of the promo poster for Ken Hanley’s new book THE I IN EVIL

I’m always thrilled when people I admire use their spare time to make stuff that matters and my colleague, current FANGORIA Managing Editor Ken Hanley has done just that, using his talents as a word wrangler to take his art to the next level.

Hanley is on the cusp of unleashing his first book, a satirical monster mash self-help epic called THE I IN EVIL, due out October 20th from Skyhorse Publishing. The book (featuring illustrations by Marvel and DC artist Adam Wallenta) has already been earning rave reviews from famous folk like SPLICE director Vincenzo Natali who calls it “…a thoroughly original, highly entertaining and witty offering for all the needy monsters out there, lurking in the shadowed corners of the world and within the darker regions of the soul.”

Tom Holland, director of CHILD’S PLAY and FRIGHT NIGHT simply says, “It’s Bat-shit crazy”.

From the press release:

FANGORIA Magazine’s Ken Hanley has devoted his life of uplifting the spirits and changing the lives of monsters across this great nation of ours. Vampires, Mummies, Wolfmen, Gill-men and Monsters (Frankenstein’s or Otherwise) will finally be able to step out of the shadows after reading THE I IN EVIL and be the social, conscientious citizens without the psycho-and-sociological issues that plague mankind every day.
THE I IN EVIL is not meant for humans. This book contains dark, terrifying truths and the author relinquishes any and all responsibility for any actions taken against monsters or themselves as a result of this book.

SHOCK is pleased to be able to give you the exclusive premiere of the alarmingly cool Todd Spence illustrated promotional poster for the book. Have a look below…

To pre-order THE I IN EVIL go HERE.

Do it for your inner ghoul…

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Review: Keanu Reeves Gets Kinky in Eli Roth’s KNOCK KNOCK

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Review: Keanu Reeves Gets Kinky in Eli Roth’s KNOCK KNOCK

Eli Roth’s latest is a misfired splatter satire.

KNOCK KNOCK’s opening plays like one of those Penthouse Forum “name withheld by request” letters but director Eli Roth quickly dumps the sexy stuff in favor of presenting a cautionary tale about the consequences of infidelity.

When we first meet the Webbers they are a happy, 1% family with a home perched high in the Hollywood Hills. Karen (Ignacia Allamand) is an artist with a major show coming up at a Los Angeles gallery, Evan (Keanu Reeves) is an architect and their adorable kids are, well, just adorable. They even have a French Bulldog named Monkey. Cute.

With Karen and the children off to the beach for the weekend Evan is home alone, listening to KISS 1976 album “Destroyer” at top volume, caught up in his work. It’s raining cats and dogs when he hears a knock at the door. (NOTE: This is the Penthouse Forum “name withheld by request” part.) On his doorstep are two drenched women, Bel (Ana de Armas) and Genesis (Lorenza Izzo), scantily clad party-goers looking for directions and a phone. “You don’t look so dangerous,” Evan says as he invites them in, “Worst case scenario, I think I can take both of you.” 

Things quickly get flirty with talk of threesomes, flight attendants and clothes being thrown in the dryer. By the time the sun rises the next morning everyone has gotten naked, vows have been broken (NOTE: This is the end of the Penthouse Forum “name withheld by request” part.) and the girls have taken over the house. Destructive and dangerous, Bel and Genesis stage a home-invasion-with-a-twist topped off by staging a fake game show called Who Wants to Punish a Pedophile? 

KNOCK KNOCK, directed by Eli Roth is based on the 1977 film DEATH GAME starring Colleen Camp and Sondra Locke (both are producers on this film) and is a deeply unpleasant movie. It’s supposed to be nasty, so in that way it’s wildly successful, but that won’t make me any more inclined to sit through it again. I guess you could call it a message film about the evils of faithlessness but the moral gets lost in the shenanigans. Evan is repeatedly punished for his transgression but the Dangerous Duo’s repetitive cat and mouse games get tired very quickly and, save for the odd bit of dark humor—like Evan accidentally “Liking” a sex video on Facebook—the movie is a one trick pony. 

What makes KNOCK KNOCK unusual is the male lead’s complete inability to protect himself. Time after time he is close to getting free only to bollocks it up. As a result he lands in some very bad situations giving Bel and Genesis the upper hand throughout. But don’t confuse this with a grrrl power movie. In the end, it’s little more than a down ‘n dirty exploitation flick that aims to be provocative but instead paints all its characters as victims and knocks female empowerment back twenty years.    

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Parenting Horror! Fright Flicks HIDDEN and JUNE Reviewed

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Parenting Horror! Fright Flicks HIDDEN and JUNE Reviewed

SHOCK takes a look at two new releases that deal with the horrors of parenting.

This one’s for mom and dad…

It may seem a cliché to say (that’s because clichés tend to be steeped in truth) but once you have children, and if you truly take to being a parent, you quickly learn the true meaning of terror. It’s hardwired into our primordial ooze: once we make our own people, once we are tasked with overseeing the care and well being of something/someone who cannot function without our aid and loves us simply because of that relationship, real deal dread locks its claws into your guts and doesn’t leave until you’re dead. Because we know what the world is. We know that beneath its pretty sunsets and shimmering lawns and smiling faces and illusions of immortality lurks a dangerous ball of pain and violence, with predators skulking around, yellow-eyed and drooling in the dark.

As Lillian Gish says in Charles Laughton’s 1955 morality tale masterpiece NIGHT OF THE HUNTER:

“It’s a hard world for little things…”

Indeed it is.

And since cinema exploits and meditates on all of our varying conditions, it goes to follow that its direct portal to primal dread, the horror film, would draw out the poisons of parenting with bloody, sadistic glee. From the kid killer of Fritz Lang’s M, to the aforementioned NIGHT OF THE HUNTER to Nicolas Roeg’s DON’T LOOK NOW to Lars Von Trier’s ANTICHRIST; the horror of procreating and the dangers and misery it can make are alive and well on screens big and small, past, present and, no doubt, future.

Here, SHOCK looks at two new releases that deal with the terrors of being a parent in various imaginary worlds that mirror our own…

HIDDEN (Warner)

Written and directed by sibling duo The Duffer Brothers (whose previous work includes penning episodes of the M. Night Shyamalan approved, Lynchian TV series WAYWARD PINES), HIDDEN is a hidden gem indeed. TRUE BLOOD and MELANCHOLIA star Alexander Skarsgard plays a father who, along his his daughter (Emily Alyn Lind) and wife (Andrea Riseborough), is barricaded in an underground chamber and has been there for almost a year. Their sun-free hiding hole is dark, dank and miserable; rats sneak in and steal what’s left of their rations and they all live in terror of a roaming species of post-apocalyptic monsters that live above ground, beasts they have dubbed the “breathers”. And yet, like Viggo Mortensen’s character in the filmed adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s THE ROAD, it’s up to dad to keep up morale and protect his child from succumbing to despair.

Yet, with their food sources almost depleted, the father must make the difficult decision to leave their dismal, but at least protected, sanctuary and face the dreaded “breathers”. What they discover instead provides the twist in the tale, which we will not reveal here, of course, but the journey to get there pushes the parents to their limits and beyond as they resort to unthinkable measures to protect their baby in this brutal new world.

HIDDEN is an absolutely first rate horror film. Moody, dark, exceptionally well-acted by the three leads and genuinely terrifying. And, oh man, is that twist a doozy. Maybe not quite PLANET OF THE APES “wow”, but still palpably shocking. Perhaps a tad slow for some horror fans (not this one), this is a thoughtful film that betrays typical zombie flick conventions and comes armed with genuine soul.

JUNE (RLJ Entertainment)

Co-writer/director L. Gustavo Cooper’s JUNE is a very different film that attacks a different angle of parenting terror, that of the parent that is blinded by their child’s true nature. Essentially a spin on classic “bad seed” movies like, er, THE BAD SEED and THE OMEN, JUNE tells the tale of the titular moppet (played skillfully by THE WALKING DEAD’s Kennedy Brice), a pretty kiddy who, after being born to a woman that barely escaped a Satanic cult, is tossed from foster home to foster home; each and every time, June blows it by having her eyeballs fill with black blood and adopting an adult’s screeching voice while growling out threats and fucking things up with her psychic tantrums.

Eventually she ends up with a kindly couple (STARSHIP TROOPERS’ Casper Van Dien and actress Victoria Pratt) who do their damndest to de-damn the kid. But as things begin to unravel rapidly, Dad does some research on her past and tries to convince mom that their dear, deadly daughter must depart. Little does he know that when it comes to that bond between mother and daughter, Hell hath no fury like.

Cooper is a very, very talented director. A true stylist who isn’t afraid of painting his canvas with broad strokes and whose style is very akin to a grandiose Italian or Japanese approach to horror. This aesthetic both works for and occasionally against JUNE, especially since the human drama is so finely etched. When we see Van Dien (who is excellent, by the way) begin his descent into mania, it’s effect is betrayed by the ho-hum CGI and dastardly vocal effects that mark June’s outbursts. The film is still a quality piece of work and exceedingly well produced on what was no doubt a lower budget. But a little more subtlety would have pushed JUNE from good to great…

Extras on HIDDEN are non-existent while JUNE has a lengthy, if superfluous, making of feature that is essentially a flurry of talking heads praising each other. Both pictures offer a glimpse into how treacherous a territory parenting can be and, while differing in their approach,  both treat their stories seriously; they make a fine Friday night double feature.

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Ridley Scott Teases New Characters for ALIEN: PARADISE LOST

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Ridley Scott Teases New Characters for ALIEN: PARADISE LOST

A new group of travelers will join Shaw and David in Ridley Scott’s Alien: Paradise Lost

Director Ridley Scott continues to spill the beans about his upcoming Prometheus sequel Alien: Paradise Lost, this time filling in Awards Campaign on the state of Engineer homeworld (ironically nicknamed “Paradise”) once Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and David (Michael Fassbender) cruise in on their croissant-shaped spaceship, as well as some other new arrivals.

“It’s going to be it’s own separate thing because they are going to the planet of the Engineers and they are going to see what happened there. It was a disaster,” Scott says. “And they will be in that alien craft that takes them there, but with a new group that’s incoming, a new group of travelers in the beginning of the first act.”

Sounds like Scott needed to feed some more characters into his Xenomorph meat grinder, so it could potentially be a new group of humans from the sinister Weyland Corporation coming in to bring bioweapons back to Earth, some military grunts ala James Cameron’s Aliens or possibly an entirely new species we haven’t seen yet. As for the fate of the Engineers, given the havoc we’ve already seen unleashed in previous films it’s not hard to imagine a full-scale monster epidemic may have broken out across their planet, although there could be something even worse in store.

Production on Alien: Paradise Lost is set to begin in early 2016, with Rapace and Fassbender set to reprise their roles of Shaw and the android David, respectively. Jack Paglen (Transcendence) and Michael Green (Green Lantern, Blade Runner 2) are providing the screenplay. 20th Century Fox has set a tentative May 30, 2017 release date for the prequel-sequel, although given its close proximity to Rian Johnson’s juggernaut Star Wars: Episode VIII (May 26) that slot could potentially change.

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10 Upcoming Horror Movies to Look Out For

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10 Upcoming Horror Movies to Look Out For

Overall, 2015 wasn’t the greatest year for horror releases. We had the standard big studio releases that focused on “themes of the month” (cookie cutter ghost stories and the such) and we had some rather disappointing indie horror releases with the occasional good one thrown in. Hey, it is a numbers game. Watch as many horror films as I do and you’re bound to see some decent ones. Well, it is October and lucky for all us that the last part of 2015 is looking like it is going to be filled with fun, solid horror offerings. Over the last month we’ve been treated to the Elijah Wood starrer, COOTIES, Eli Roth’s THE GREEN INFERNO and M. Night Shyamalan’s THE VISIT (review to come). But the rest of 205 looks just as promising. Let’s check out what’s coming our way:

A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY

This film was released on October 2, 2015 and I have it all queued up and ready to watch. This is an anthology-like movie that has interwoven stories loosely connected. Some of the stories include a family that brings home a very odd Christmas tree, a student’s documentary project that takes a frightening turn, a Christmas spirit that wreaks havoc, and Santa himself facing off against evil.

THE FINAL GIRLS

I’ve watched the trailer for this on at least a dozen times and every time I watch it it gets better and better. This one is about a girl grieving the loss of her mother, a famous scream queen from the 1980s, who then finds herself pulled into the world of her mom’s most famous movie. Reunited, the two women must fight off the film’s maniacal, masked killer. Think THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO meets FRIDAY THE 13TH!! THE FINAL GIRLS is slated for an October 9, 2015 release.

KNOCK KNOCK

Eli Roth really wants to dominate the Halloween season and offers up another tasty genre film that has been getting great buzz. In THE GREEN INFERNO we get Roth’s love letter to the classic Italian-cannibal flicks of the 1970s and 1980s, but with KNOCK KNOCK, Roth turns the typical psycho male killer formula on its ear. In the film, Keanu Reeves plays plays a loving and happily married man who lets two younger girls into his home who then proceed to seduce him, hold him hostage, and subject him to all kinds of horrors. This one is also slated to drop on  October 9, 2015.

CRIMSON PEAK

Perhaps the most anticipated horror film of 2015 is Guillermo del Toro’s CRIMSON PEAK. This is del Toro’s return to the gothic ghost story that originally made him a household name. In the film, an aspiring author (Mia Wasikowska) moves in with her mysterious new husband (Tom Hiddleston) and his sister (Jessica Chastain), against the wishes of a close friend (Charlie Hunnam). As she tries to cope with a recent family tragedy, she slowly realizes the house is not just a structure, but a living, breathing being. This is another captivating trailer that I’ve watched over and over again. CRIMSON PEAK is set for an October 16, 2015 release.

THE DIABOLICAL

Here’s a ghost story coming our way, but don’t be too quick to brush this one off as just another INSIDIOUS clone. In THE DIABOLICAL, a single mother (Ali Larter) faces a strange, violent, paranormal presence in her home, and when paranormal experts refuse to help, she takes matters into her own hands. This one sounds like it will offer us something a little different. Look for this one in theaters on October 16, 2015.

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER

Granted, this one sounds more like an action flick than a straight up horror movie, THE LAST WITCH HUNTER also sounds like it may be fun. Directed by Breck Eisner and starring Vin Diesel, Elijah Wood, and Michael Caine, the plot revolves around a man (Diesel) who is cursed with immortality after killing an all-powerful Queen Witch. Centuries later when the witch and her minions seem to be coming back, Diesel must hunt her down and slay her again. Look for THE LAST WITCH HUNTER on October 23, 2015.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION

Here’s our seasonal release of the next entry into a franchise that should’ve died out a long time ago!! In what is being promised as the last in the series (I’m not buying it), a family discovers a bizarre video camera in the garage that helps them see supernatural forces manifested in physical form. As they get to the bottom of the mystery that started years and years ago, they witness more terror than they can imagine. This one is also getting a October 23, 2015 release date.

SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

This is another one I’m really looking forward to!! In it, a group of boy scouts find themselves scrambling to get their wits about them when the zombie apocalypse hits. They need to rely on their boy scout training to save the day. David Koechner–who is always fantastic–stars as a scout leader, and Cloris Leachman herself also stars. Look for this in theaters on October 30, 2015.

KRAMPUS

Just in time for Christmas is KRAMPUS, an ancient, evil monster that’s notorious for terrorizing children during the holiday season. A young boy accidentally summons Krampus on Christmas Eve and his family must band together to fight it off and to survive the holiday season. KRAMPUS is written and directed by TRICK ‘R TREAT maker, Michael Dougherty, so expectations are high. Look for KRAMPUS in theaters on December 4, 2015.

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

This is a retelling of the classic Mary Shelley story told from Igor’s (Daniel Radcliffe) perspective. We see the troubled young assistant’s dark origins, his redemptive friendship with the young medical student Viktor Von Frankenstein (James McAvoy), and become eyewitnesses to the emergence of how Frankenstein became the man – and the legend – we know today. This one won’t be out until November 25, 2015.

I think we’ve got some definite winners in this crop of upcoming horror films. Which ones are you most interested in seeing?

Stay Bloody!!!

Filed under: Breaking News, Creature Flicks, Holiday Horrors, New Posting, Upcoming Releases, Zombie Flicks

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LA: Terror meets Tassels at the ASYLUM Burlesque Show

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LA: Terror meets Tassels at the ASYLUM Burlesque Show

LA Burlesque institution goes over the top (less) for Halloween.

Noted LA based Burlesque troupe The Sultry Sweet Burlesque & Variety Show (a fave of Quentin Tarantino’s) are dressing up their jiggly bits for their deluxe Halloween extravaganza “ASYLUM: A Burlesque InsTiTution”.

The show, which goes down Sunday October 25th at the legendary El Cid on Sunset Boulevard, is set up like a saucy, spooky story using burlesque as the icing on the creepy cake. As each tale of the “Asylum” unfolds, so doth the ladies disrobe…

“ASYLUM” will feature celebrated burlesque performers like Audrey DeLuxe, Sin Fisted, Angie Cakes, Mercury Troy, Miss Dee Dee Perks and more and will also sport an aerial performance by Galaxy Jax and a live performance by LA’s only burlesque orchestra, The Hungry Kisses.

Here’s the not-so-skinny:

DOORS @ 7:30pm – Arrive early for a pre-show cocktail.
SEATING @ 8:00pm.
SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY @ 8:30pm.

Delicious food & tapas menu available for your dining pleasure. And of course, lots of cocktails!

GENERAL ADMISSION SEATING $20 (only available online in advance) -or- $25 AT THE DOOR

VIP SEATING $25 (only available online in advance) -or- $30 AT THE DOOR.

TICKETS: http://SultrySweetBurlesque.Eventbrite.Com

Prepare for plenty of evil ass, creepy cleavage and horrifying hips. See you at the show!

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