Wanna know something? Horror remakes are here to stay. I know, I know; not exactly earth-shattering news. The horror remake has been a mainstay in Hollywood for a long time now with no end in sight. I find it funny that people still get angry when a new horror remake is announced. That’s like getting angry because there’s a Monday in every week.
I’m not completely against horror remakes. There’s been more than a few that have been better than the original. There are also some horror films that, for many different reasons, should be remade.
Below is my list of horror films that need to be remade. Remaking the following films won’t just introduce these films to a new audience, but remaking them will result in an overall stronger film.
THE HIDDEN (1987)
This film has a solid story: A cop and an FBI agent team up to hunt down a serial killer who isn’t exactly what he/she seems. The performances are great and the f/x are damn good for 1987, but The Hidden suffers from being hopelessly outdated. The Hidden reeks of the 1980s, and this actually hurts the overall film. The killer goes into a record store; all the cops are using typewriters; the police station’s cutting-edge computer lab consists of a few Commodore 64’s. All these elements really takes away from the experience of the film. Plus, I think there could be more horror elements in this flick. This would be an easy film to update. The skeleton of the film is solid, it just needs a cosmetic facelift to update the technology and overall feel of the film.
NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)
This classic film needs a remake for the same reasons as The Hidden. It has an outdated 1980’s feel to it that really pulls you out of the movie. And let’s face it, Night of the Creeps could also benefit from some better f/x.
C.H.U.D. (1984)
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. With a title like this how could this film fail? Well, it does. The titular creatures barely get any screen time. This film is begging to be updated into a fantastic creature flick!!
PUMPKINHEAD (1988)
Stan Winston’s directorial debut is an overall fantastic movie. Winston gives us one of the scariest creatures in modern horror, but I feel like Pumpkinhead underachieves and we never really get to see him in all his demonic glory.
PHANTASM (1979)
This film has a lot going for it. It’s got a fantastic horror villain (The Tall Man), silver spheres that are flying Cuisinarts, and it has one of the creepiest atmospheres and tones around. But Phantasm suffers from a dated 1970s feel and from a wonky plot. Get someone in there who could make a more linear storyline (the mythology in this film is terrific) and you’ve got yourself a winner!!
THE STUFF (1985)
Another classic film that suffers from the era in which it is made. The Stuff is a yogurt-like substance that is actually a living thing that eats people from the inside out. The film pokes fun at dieting fads, consumerism, and advertising. With today’s controversy of GMOs, what better time is there for a remake of The Stuff?
WARNING SIGN (1985)
This is a largely forgotten about scifi-action-horror film from the mid-1980s about a top secret government facility being locked down after an experimental virus gets loose. The cure is of course inside the facility, and so are the scientists who are infected with a rage-like pathogen. Warning Sign needs a facelift to update the technology and the special f/x. Solid movie, though.
BLOOD BEACH (1980)
The argument could be made that Blood Beach was already remade and called Tremors, but I think a more faithful remake is in order. Blood Beach is about a creature that lives at the beach and sucks people under the sand and eats them. It’s got a killer poster and some great taglines including, “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water—you can’t get to it,” and “…where the water is the safest place to be!” This fun film definitely needs a remake in the special f/x and story departments.
GALAXY OF TERROR (1981)
Arguably one of Roger Corman’s best cheesiest sci-fi/horror films. This one features a wacky cast and some of the most bizarre death scenes you’ll see. But Galaxy of Terror wallows around in its own cheesiness. With some script changes, this film could be downright terrifying.
FADE TO BLACK (1980)
A lonely outcast who is also an unhinged movie geek decides to exact cinematic-style revenge on those who have crossed him. Remake this film with more modern day horror films as the killers inspirations and you’ve got a winner. This is a creepy, effective film that just feels outdated now.
Which films do you think need to be remade? Anything on this list piss you off? I want to hear from you all!!
Stay Bloody!!!
Filed under: Blog Special, Horror Lists, New Posting
No comments:
Post a Comment