In 1926, the Countess goes to visit Dr. Charles Montgomery at the Murder House from season one. She has something she needs “taken care of.” She reveals a painfully pregnant belly – and that she is only three weeks pregnant. He asks no questions, just takes her down to the basement operating room. He uses the “big knife” to cut it out, then asks the nurse to dispose of “that.” She thinks it is still alive and sure enough, it attacks her. The Countess wakes, and Dr. Montgomery hands the Countess a baby boy. She cries and kisses it.
Now, the Countess keeps her “baby” in room 33. We don’t see it until the very end, and even then, it is only a glimpse. Think Eraserhead meets Belial from Basket Case. We meet the “baby,” Bartholomew, throughout the episode, though only through its POV. Bartholomew seems to be able to crawl very, very fast. Anyway, the Countess treasures Bartholomew, but keeps him locked in room 33. She and Will are headed to Paris for a few days, but promises Bartholomew she will return with plenty of money.
Ramona and Donovan return to the hotel to seek revenge, and this includes killing the Countess’s children. Donovan doesn’t quite have the stomach for it, so Ramona dismisses him to the penthouse to “sniff the Countess’s panties.” She goes down to the sleep chamber, and is surprised to find all the coffins gone. Earlier in the episode, John found them, and saw Alex sleeping in one. She drugged John and put him back to bed, making him think it was all part of his breakdown, and she and Liz destroy the coffins. Finding no one in the sleep chamber, Ramona goes to room 33, intending on killing Bartholomew. That little fucker is fast, and devious. He hides from her, then attacks and runs rampant through the hotel.
While in the penthouse, Donovan finds the two Swedish girls, who are grumpy because they can’t seem to escape the hotel. He explains that they have to find their “purpose.” They will still never leave, but it will get them out of whatever rut you are stuck in, being a permanent resident of the hotel. The girls try fucking and killing a douchey hotel patron, but it doesn’t work for them. Alex, as she looks for Bartholomew, finds the girls crying beside the corpse. She suggests mentally destroying someone, and sends them to John, who has always wanted two girls.
The Swedes find John drunk in the hallway, depressed because he was kicked out of a crime scene, and his daughter won’t take his calls. Within seconds, the girls are in bed with John, fucking him, fucking each other. Then they start clawing each other apart while choking John. He finally realizes what is going on. Covered in blood, he races to the lobby, naked, begging Liz for help. They return to his room, where the maid is already stripping the bed of bloody linens. The girls appear, fully clothed, from the bathroom and are pleased with themselves. Destroying men mentally is their purpose. March appears in the corner of the room, pleased that John is enjoying his stay at the hotel. John rushes March, but finds only a bare wall. Deciding that this is the last straw, he takes out his suitcase and starts packing. He realizes that he is still covered in blood when it gets all over his clothes, so he hops into the shower. While he is in there, Bartholomew sneaks into John’s suitcase.
John picks up Scarlett from her friend’s house and the two go home. Scarlett is mad that her mom dropped her off at her friend’s house then disappeared; she is confused as to why her father is there when he isn’t supposed to live there anymore. John promises he will stay with her until they figure it all out. She runs to her room and John starts to unpack. He hears Scarlett crying and checks on her, carrying one of his bloody shirts with him. She is scared of the blood, and he is scared that he is holding it. Returning to his room, John notices something is amiss. He gets his gun and creeps quietly through the house. In this time, Scarlett has made some popcorn and is watching TV. John tracks Bartholomew into the kitchen and shoots it. Scarlett screams in fear, and Bartholomew gets away, but he is injured. Alex arrives home to find Scarlett and John in the backyard, both scared and angry, separated by Hahn. The detective will take Scarlett to her grandmother’s house, and Alex insists that John just needs some sleep. Once he goes inside, she starts looking around the yard and finds Bartholomew.
When the Countess returns from Paris, she goes straight to room 33, where Alex is caring for Bartholomew. Alex explains he got out, and was injured, but he will be find. The Countess is eternally grateful.
Liz Taylor and Tristan are sleeping together, and they both announce to each other they are in love. Now it is just about breaking the news to the Countess, who doesn’t “share” (but she has no compunction about sleeping with Will, or even asking/demanding that Tristan “fluff” Will when his cock won’t get hard for a woman). When the Countess returns from Paris, Liz finally sits down to tell her she is in love. The Countess thinks that is great – until she finds out it is Tristan. She tells Liz she can have him when she is done with him, but Liz reminds her that time has meaning to her, a mortal. She knows that Tristan is just one of the Countess’s passing fancies and begs her to release him. The Countess sends for Tristan, who confirms that he and Liz are in love. The Countess has a hard time with this, but eventually agrees that Liz may “have” Tristan. She kisses Liz on the cheek – then slits Tristan’s throat. “He’s yours. Bury him.”
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