Blu-ray Review: Sleazy 1971 Classic BLOOD AND LACE

Shock Till You Drop

Blu-ray Review: Sleazy 1971 Classic BLOOD AND LACE

SHOCK reviews the ultra-sleazy 1971 horror film BLOOD AND LACE on Blu-ray.

In the annals of PG rated horror films, director Philip Gilbert’s sordid AIP-released 1971 psychodrama BLOOD AND LACE kind of stands alone. No, there’s no explicit sex or nudity, nor is the violence particularly graphic and certainly, nary a curse word is uttered. But I can’t imagine a child seeing this picture. I can’t imagine a child seeing it in 1971. I can’t imagine a child seeing it in 2015.

But I can imagine a child in 1985 seeing it. Because that’s when I saw it!

In fact, most ardent fans of this never-before-released-on-home-video-until-now sort of classic saw it the same way I did, on late night TV, free of any sort of adult supervision. It was difficult for a then 10 year old boy to understand the depths of cruelty and sleaze the picture trades in, but it was fascinating and upsetting, nonetheless. It still is. There are moments of such greasy unpleasantness in BLOOD AND LACE that I still get a kinky shock from them. It’s the same sort of dirty thrill one gets from watching one of Jörg Buttgereit’s NEKROMANTIK films, or, more recently a HUMAN CENTIPEDE picture. But those works are near pornographic in their visuals. BLOOD AND LACE, remember, is PG (or GP, which at the time, was in essence the same thing). And yet it feels far filthier than any of those movies combined…

BLOOD AND LACE begins with a murder, one that many critics have rightfully cited as having an eerie resemblance to the POV opening attack in John Carpenter’s much later slasher landmark HALLOWEEN (though they both likely owe their blood-spattered shirts to PSYCHO). In this film, it’s not a knife that stalks prey just above the gaze of the lens, it’s a claw hammer, one that lays waste to a man and woman, lying post-coitus in their bed. Some dollops of tempra-red blast on to screen during the edit-heavy sequence to provide a few frissons, but it’s the stuff that follows that really makes you feel icky. Seems the murdered woman was the skanky mother of sullen teen named Elle (Melody Patterson, who sadly passed earlier this year) and, as her mom bedded basically every man and woman in town – including the social worker (Milton Selzer) assigned to protect Elle – the cops are having a hard time pinning the rap on anyone. Elle is shipped to dismal group home run by the unhinged Mrs. Deere (Hollywood legend Gloria Grahame, miles away from OKLAHOMA!), a malevolent matriarch who uses fear, manipulation and violence to keep her young charges in the house, thus supplementing her income with government dough.

Elle slinks into the home and immediately starts making trouble, following in her “friendly” mother’s footsteps by trying to seduce some of the hunkier lads while also brushing up against the sneering Mrs. Deere, who sees the girl as a threat to her operation. As the narrative skeezes along, we learn Mrs. Deere, with the aid of her sadistic handyman (Len Lesser, who later played Uncle Leo in TV’s SEINFELD), is murdering her misbehaving wards and freezing them in a kind of amateur and none-too-successful cryogenic state. Meanwhile, Elle is having dreams of a scarred-faced heavy with a bloody hammer stalking her and a leering cop (Vic Tayback…y’know, Mel from the classic TV show ALICE) bums around the peripheral, alternately keeping an eye out for the girl and lusting for her booty.

BLOOD AND LACE is one grubby flick. And it’s awesome. The scenes with the frozen youths being dragged out and posed to fool city workers assigned to check in on them, are disturbing; even worse, when the thawing bodies start to leak fluids from torn orifices, the slow drips are disgusting and unforgettable. The central premise of child abuse and sexual deviancy is splendidly politically incorrect and the final shot, with its insult-to-injury plot reveal, is enough to make you burn your clothes afterwards. It’s gross.

Another thing of note about the film is the fact that the putty-mugged boogeyman is a ringer for Freddy Krueger, 13 years before there even was a Freddy Krueger. Both killers are burned and bald; both killers appear in dreams to torment their victims and both killers wear red and black stripped sweaters! With Wes now gone, it’s a shame no one will get the chance to ask him if he had seen BLOOD AND LACE during one of its many TV airings…

And watch out for the sequence early on where Patterson in inexplicably dubbed by June Foray, the voice actress who played Rocky the Flying Squirrel and who is kind of the Zelig of horror. Foray’s signature raspy voice also popped up glaringly in “The Bewitchin’ Pool”, the final episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE and covertly, as the voice of Michael in a brief scene in JAWS. Yet more strangeness comes in the form of the film’s lack of an original score, instead we have a melodramatic and often grossly inappropriate scratch library score of schizophrenic orchestral music; the effect is just as disorienting as the Findlay favorite SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED, a terrible flick rendered far weirder by its ludicrous patchwork music.

Scream Factory deserves an award just for releasing BLOOD AND LACE seeing as, as we’ve already mentioned, it’s never been legitimately released on home video. Here, the company gives us a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack, with a nice high-def transfer of what I do believe is a slightly longer cut, with a few extra drops of blood, enough so that the film seems to have been upgraded from its original PG to an R rating!. Certainly, this aint no David Fincher joint, so obsessing over audio/visual minutiae is foolish, but suffice to say the film hasn’t looked this good since its release. Writer Richard Harland Smith provides a decent, informative commentary that fills in many blanks, and there’s also trailer and an alternate opening credits sequence thrown in for fun.

Great film. Great release. Prepare to shower afterward.

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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: HOTEL Episode 506: ‘Room 33′

Shock Till You Drop

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: HOTEL Episode 506: ‘Room 33′

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: HOTEL’s 6th episode gets the SHOCK recap.

In 1926, the Countess goes to visit Dr. Charles Montgomery at the Murder House from season one. She has something she needs “taken care of.” She reveals a painfully pregnant belly – and that she is only three weeks pregnant. He asks no questions, just takes her down to the basement operating room. He uses the “big knife” to cut it out, then asks the nurse to dispose of “that.” She thinks it is still alive and sure enough, it attacks her. The Countess wakes, and Dr. Montgomery hands the Countess a baby boy. She cries and kisses it. 

Now, the Countess keeps her “baby” in room 33. We don’t see it until the very end, and even then, it is only a glimpse. Think Eraserhead meets Belial from Basket Case. We meet the “baby,” Bartholomew, throughout the episode, though only through its POV. Bartholomew seems to be able to crawl very, very fast. Anyway, the Countess treasures Bartholomew, but keeps him locked in room 33. She and Will are headed to Paris for a few days, but promises Bartholomew she will return with plenty of money.

Ramona and Donovan return to the hotel to seek revenge, and this includes killing the Countess’s children. Donovan doesn’t quite have the stomach for it, so Ramona dismisses him to the penthouse to “sniff the Countess’s panties.” She goes down to the sleep chamber, and is surprised to find all the coffins gone. Earlier in the episode, John found them, and saw Alex sleeping in one. She drugged John and put him back to bed, making him think it was all part of his breakdown, and she and Liz destroy the coffins. Finding no one in the sleep chamber, Ramona goes to room 33, intending on killing Bartholomew. That little fucker is fast, and devious. He hides from her, then attacks and runs rampant through the hotel.

While in the penthouse, Donovan finds the two Swedish girls, who are grumpy because they can’t seem to escape the hotel. He explains that they have to find their “purpose.” They will still never leave, but it will get them out of whatever rut you are stuck in, being a permanent resident of the hotel. The girls try fucking and killing a douchey hotel patron, but it doesn’t work for them. Alex, as she looks for Bartholomew, finds the girls crying beside the corpse. She suggests mentally destroying someone, and sends them to John, who has always wanted two girls.

The Swedes find John drunk in the hallway, depressed because he was kicked out of a crime scene, and his daughter won’t take his calls. Within seconds, the girls are in bed with John, fucking him, fucking each other. Then they start clawing each other apart while choking John. He finally realizes what is going on. Covered in blood, he races to the lobby, naked, begging Liz for help. They return to his room, where the maid is already stripping the bed of bloody linens. The girls appear, fully clothed, from the bathroom and are pleased with themselves. Destroying men mentally is their purpose. March appears in the corner of the room, pleased that John is enjoying his stay at the hotel. John rushes March, but finds only a bare wall. Deciding that this is the last straw, he takes out his suitcase and starts packing. He realizes that he is still covered in blood when it gets all over his clothes, so he hops into the shower. While he is in there, Bartholomew sneaks into John’s suitcase.

John picks up Scarlett from her friend’s house and the two go home. Scarlett is mad that her mom dropped her off at her friend’s house then disappeared; she is confused as to why her father is there when he isn’t supposed to live there anymore. John promises he will stay with her until they figure it all out. She runs to her room and John starts to unpack. He hears Scarlett crying and checks on her, carrying one of his bloody shirts with him. She is scared of the blood, and he is scared that he is holding it. Returning to his room, John notices something is amiss. He gets his gun and creeps quietly through the house. In this time, Scarlett has made some popcorn and is watching TV. John tracks Bartholomew into the kitchen and shoots it. Scarlett screams in fear, and Bartholomew gets away, but he is injured. Alex arrives home to find Scarlett and John in the backyard, both scared and angry, separated by Hahn. The detective will take Scarlett to her grandmother’s house, and Alex insists that John just needs some sleep. Once he goes inside, she starts looking around the yard and finds Bartholomew.

When the Countess returns from Paris, she goes straight to room 33, where Alex is caring for Bartholomew. Alex explains he got out, and was injured, but he will be find. The Countess is eternally grateful. 

Liz Taylor and Tristan are sleeping together, and they both announce to each other they are in love. Now it is just about breaking the news to the Countess, who doesn’t “share” (but she has no compunction about sleeping with Will, or even asking/demanding that Tristan “fluff” Will when his cock won’t get hard for a woman). When the Countess returns from Paris, Liz finally sits down to tell her she is in love. The Countess thinks that is great – until she finds out it is Tristan. She tells Liz she can have him when she is done with him, but Liz reminds her that time has meaning to her, a mortal. She knows that Tristan is just one of the Countess’s passing fancies and begs her to release him. The Countess sends for Tristan, who confirms that he and Liz are in love. The Countess has a hard time with this, but eventually agrees that Liz may “have” Tristan. She kisses Liz on the cheek – then slits Tristan’s throat. “He’s yours. Bury him.”

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Horror Short, Selfie From Hell, To Become a Feature Length Film

Horror Movies, Horror News, Horror Reviews | Anything Horror

Horror Short, Selfie From Hell, To Become a Feature Length Film

There’s no doubt that the short film, SELFIE FROM HELL, has taken the internet by storm. As of the writing of this article, the short, not even two minute film has 14,709,920 views and is climbing. IndustryWorks Studios has acquired the rights and is going to make a feature length film out of the short. Check out … Continue reading →

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A Secret History Unearthed. A Legendary Horror Walks Again.

Flames Rising Horror Webzine

A Secret History Unearthed. A Legendary Horror Walks Again.

Presenting an epic improvised campaign for Night’s Black Agents Roleplaying Game. Do your Agents have what it takes to face the Lord of the Undead himself?

The Dracula Dossier follows in the fully improvisational path of the award-winning The Armitage Files campaign. Players follow up leads in the margins of Dracula Unredacted, a rare edition of Bram Stoker’s masterpiece that reveals the terrifying truth behind the fiction. They’ll chase down the real characters from Stoker’s novel, their descendants in the present, and the British agents caught in the backblast. Directors combine these leads and notes with pre-prepared elements in the Director’s Handbook, including:

– Conspiracy nodes, eerie locations and vampiric beasts
– More than 60 supporting characters in vampiric, heroic, or in-between versions
– Different versions of the real Mina Harker, Abraham van Helsing, and the other stars of Stoker’s novel — and their modern-day successors, descendants, and survivors — who can drive the story in any direction the players look.Sample spread (Carfax)

Players choose which leads to track, which scarlet trail to follow. The Director, using the clear step-by-step techniques in this book, improvises a suitably blood-soaked thriller in response to their choices. Clear advice to players and Directors on improvisation, with extensive examples and guidelines, helps you set the scene. Together, you will read and write your own unique version of the Dracula Dossier. Follow the clues to end the story once and for all, and close Project EDOM forever. You will find, hunt, and kill Dracula, the king of the vampires. If you survive.

The Dracula Dossier: Director’s Handbook is available now in PDF format at the Flames Rising RPGNow Shop!

Also available now from Pelgrane Press:

Take your players on the greatest vampire hunt in history—more than a hundred years in the making.

Dracula is not a novel. It’s the censored version of Bram Stoker’s after-action report of the failed British Intelligence attempt to recruit and control the perfect asset — the ultimate weapon — Count Dracula. Kenneth Hite and Gareth Ryder-Hanrahan have restored the deleted characters and redacted information, inserting annotations and clues left by three generations of MI6 analysts. This is Dracula Unredacted.

This new edition of Dracula adds new letters and recordings, diary entries long thought lost, and documents suppressed by Her Majesty’s Government … until now. From the first tentative contact between British intelligence and the un-dead, to the werewolf of Walpurgisnacht, to the cataclysmic disappearance of Dracula in volcanic fire, read the story you’ve known for years … for the first time.

Dracula Unredacted does for the Dracula Dossier what Henry Armitage’s letters did for The Armitage Files or The Book of the Smoke for Bookhounds of London.

The Dracula Dossier: Dracula Unredacted is available now in PDF format at the Flames Rising RPGNow Shop!

The Dracula Dossier: Director’s Handbook and The Dracula Dossier: Dracula Unredacted are both available as stand-alone PDFs, or get 15% off as part of the Dracula Dossier Bundle or the Dracula Dossier Starter Kit with the Night’s Black Agents core book.

Related posts: The Dracula Dossier an epic campaign for Night’s Black Agents Awaiting Universal’s DRACULA UNTOLD with Bated Breath Night’s Black Agents: Double Tap

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Exclusive Photos From Visionary New Film #HORROR

Shock Till You Drop

Exclusive Photos From Visionary New Film #HORROR

3 new stills from visionary new horror film #HORROR.

Write, director, designer, actor, artist and visionary Tara Subkoff’s dynamic femme-centric giallo/morality play #HORROR is one of the most exciting and visually innovative indie horror films we’ve seen in years; a ‘fetish’ film whose style echoes that of TENEBRE-era Argento with healthy dollops of Polanksi and Cronenberg thrown in for good measure and yet, the movie still remains the product of its creator’s kinky, fertile mind. And  it’s decidedly feminine in its casting and texture. Which is a very, very good thing…

Based on a true tale about pre-teen cyber-bullying that led to grim death, #HORROR forgoes the muddy, brown digital look of most contemporary horror in favor of bright, white, antiseptic surfaces, snowy exteriors, surreal mise-en-scene and arch performances by vets Chloe Sevigny and Timothy Hutton.

On the eve of its New York premiere at the New York City Horror Film Festival tomorrow at 9:30pm (with Subkoff in attendance) at Manhattan creepy-culture venue Times Scare, SHOCK has three exclusive shots from the film to share.

We loved the film so expect more coverage in the coming weeks….

In the meantime, feast on these intense photos below and the trailer below that…

#HORROR - "Girls and Masks"

#HORROR - "Scream, Chloe, Scream"

#HORROR - "Red (and Left) Right Hand"

The post Exclusive Photos From Visionary New Film #HORROR appeared first on Shock Till You Drop.

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FACE OF FIRE: An American Masterpiece

Shock Till You Drop

FACE OF FIRE: An American Masterpiece

Writer Lee Gambin digs up and appreciates a classic dark American drama.

Set against the backdrop of mid-west America during the late 1800s, in a small halcyon town that is magically depicted as shadowy and a host to a enumeration of deep rooted secrecy, Albert (father of B-movie God Charles Band and director of the brilliant I BURY THE LIVING) Band’s FACE OF FIRE is a remarkably unsettling film and a crossbreed of body horror, American tragedy, child-centric coming of age and having been released in 1959, is most certainly a decedent reminder from the not so “long ago” catalog of magnificent Film Noir pictures of the forties.

The film tells the story of a well-liked, handsome and affable handyman named Monk Johnson (James Whitmore) who in an act of heroism is horrifically burnt and disfigured, rendering him a “monster” in the eyes of the townsfolk. However, what this provocative and genuinely creepy film does is present the true ugliness of human nature and the deadly repercussions of mob mentality. The bleak aesthetic is stark and striking, the incredible use of darkness and shadow play is mesmerizing, while the camera angles, movement, tracking shots, elongated shots that dare not break away into cuts and the deliberately theatrical staging and framing of characters make for both a beautiful and thoroughly uncomfortable watch. The film is a masterwork, and dances with dangerous territory with an acute expression of wholehearted risk and daring innovation.

Accompanying the opening titles is a remarkably haunting song sung by school children that is incredibly reminiscent of “Risseldy Rosseldy” from THE BIRDS (released fours years later). The lyrics belted out (and equally whispered) by the children evoke nightmarish imagery about a monkey in peril that struggles to fit in at a traveling circus. With this menacing song, the film instantly sets up the concept of the “freak” and the outsider as its centerpiece, but with it delivers an appealing and attractive image as its curtain raiser: small town working class children heading home from a day’s fishing. Among these children is the sensitive Jimmie Trescott (Miko Oscard) who is first seen with Monk Johnson, and the two could easily be read as father and son. Of course, we soon learn that Jimmy’s father is the kind hearted doctor Ned Trescott (Cameron Mitchell) who stands as the film’s grounded moral compass.

Morality and mortality are eternally linked throughout the film, and thematically this is something that director Albert Band seems to be completely invested in. The predicament that Dr. Trescott is in whether or not to save Monk, rescuing him from death but ultimately setting him up for a drastically empty life makes for a dramatic crux in the narrative’s unfolding, and his perpetual trust, loyalty and devotion to Monk cements the film’s solid and well-intended heart. This film could have easily tipped over into carousel barker exploitation, but instead it marches to the beat of a maudlin character study and in many ways provides an insightful commentary on Ibsen’s “Enemy of the People”.

After we are introduced to Monk who is set up as a man who has played the field, been the local Lothario, is admired by men, lusted after by women and is a hit with the local children, we are invited into an intimate scene with his sweetheart who he wishes to settle down with. FACE OF FIRE delivers an anti-hero/monster who is not saintly, but instead wholly real and earthy – a hedonist in a sense who wishes to make himself an “honest” man. The tragedy in this is that he never gets that opportunity. Band uses sound and music in an electric manner, playing with diegetic musicality such as the marquee-positioned marching band trumpeting their compositions and then having it bleed into the alarming sound of the fire siren summoning the brigade to fight the oppressive flames that consume Dr. Trescott’s house. Monk races inside and rescues young Jimmy, but in turn is burnt and nearly killed. Along with the disfiguration of his face, Monk’s mental state is retarded and he is trapped by an inability to communicate. Much like Mary Shelley’s monster in the much referenced Gothic classic FRANKENSTEIN, Monk is misunderstood and feared by the townsfolk who seem to completely lose sight of the man they once cared for and admired. This is what the film does so brilliantly – it has a compelling keen interest in the monstrosities of human intolerance, disgust, abuse, callousness and the fear of difference.

With the children’s nursery rhyme being reminiscent of THE BIRDS, there is another set piece in FACE OF FIRE that is reflected in Alfred Hitchcock’s ornithophobic masterpiece – that is, when a group of children sit around a table at a little girl’s birthday party and Monk appears in the window terrifying the little tykes. It seems to foreshadow the bird attack on young Veronica Cartwright’s seaside birthday party in Bodega Bay in Hitchcock’s eco-horror hit. Other stand out moments in the film include Monk returning to his fiancé and staggering towards her while she screams in terror sliding across the floor and being cornered, a townsperson describing Monk as “the devil” with the wonderfully foreboding music underscoring his frenzied dialogue and Monk terrifying the townsfolk at an outdoor dance. However, it is the incredibly moving ending sequence that stands out as a criminally undervalued and underrated coda to a pathos-driven monster movie. In the final moments, little Jimmy watches his old friend and fishing companion stretch out his arms, lost in the memory of being caught in the fire. He leaves the other children that have taunted Monk, and walks over to the unfortunate outsider, and collects his hand, walking off with him to the fishing hole while his proud father and his wife (Bettye Ackerman) watch from the window with tears rushing down their cheeks.

The visual styling is reminiscent of Charles Laughton’s NIGHT OF THE HUNTER (1955) which also presents children as resourceful innocents that have a secret world hidden from adults, and it captures a sense of whimsical poetry that would be found later in films such as TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962) as well. Disfiguration is a thematic element that propels the film’s basic surface plot, and it does it just as well as films such as David Lynch’s modern attempt at classicist cinema THE ELEPHANT MAN (1980) and Peter Bogdanovich’s sun-kissed Christ-figure biopic MASK (1985), but it also is most definitely a horror film that runs a similar course to small town spook shows such as THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (1976), THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW and even the slasher classic THE BURNING (both from 1981). The make-up design for the horrifically scarred and burnt Monk is effective and startling, and when he lumbers about with a cloak covering his face it is a distressing image. However, what is much more frightening is the ugliness that emerges as a result of the violence of the human spirit and the disconnection to empathy most of the characters that populate the film possess.

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TV Recap: SCREAM QUEENS Episode 8, ‘Mommie Dearest’

Shock Till You Drop

TV Recap: SCREAM QUEENS Episode 8, ‘Mommie Dearest’

SHOCK belts out another episode recap of SCREAM QUEENS.

The dean takes the promised meeting with Grace, but doesn’t recall promising to tell her anything about the bathtub baby. She goes home and takes a shower. The setup is like PSYCHO, with the Red Devil approaching like Mother Bates. But Jamie Lee isn’t the victim like her mother; it is all a ploy. She appears behind the Devil and smashes his head into the wall. “I’ve seen that movie like 50 times!” The dean runs into the other room and calls 911, but gets an automated message. She hangs up when the Devil appears with a knife, and faces off against him with a fireplace poker. Dean Munsch holds her own, but then a second Devil appears, this one with an axe. To the dean’s surprise, a third killer joins the fray, this one in an Antonin Scalia mask. The dean gives a lengthy – and boring – monologue about how a former lover taught her Thai blood sports, and she kicks all of their asses. When she fights Scalia, she spouts off against his more ridiculous court decisions. All three killers end up running scared.

The next day, the dean meets with Grace once again, deciding that, now that the killers have come for her directly, it is time to be a little more helpful. She gives Grace the name of the Kappa who died birthing the baby: Sophia Doyle. Grace doesn’t believe it; her dad told her her mother’s maiden name was Mulligan. She is disappointed. She takes this info to Pete and start running a search on Sophia Doyle, but they can’t find anything. They need a new strategy and jump to a whole bunch of conclusions about the Hag of Shady Lane. Since she was the one who took the baby, and she was crazy, she would probably end up in a sanitarium. They go back to the asylum where Dean Munsch was being held. Picasso, the woman who painted them unrealistically fast when they were last there, offers them a painting of Gigi, based on absolutely zero information. When Grace mentions the woman would have had a baby with her, Picasso presents a painting of Gigi holding two babies, a boy and a girl.

Grace goes straight to Gigi with the painting, demanding answers. She found out that Gigi lied on her resume and she dropped out of Wallace University as a sophomore for “medical reasons.” Gigi throws some dime-store therapy at her, thinking that this is Grace’s way of dealing with her dad’s new relationship. To make matters worse, Gigi has a bombshell for Grace: Wes proposed. She reveals a teeny, tiny diamond engagement ring as proof. Grace goes straight to Wes, who is confused about what happened. The way he tells it, Gigi went to the mall to pick up some stuff for his place, like lamps and decor-type things. She came home with an engagement ring and Wes decided to play along so he could have mind-blowing sex. He promises Grace he won’t actually get serious with Gigi without talking to her first. Grace starts putting the pieces together, realizing that Gigi would have known her mom in college, which means Wes would have known her then. She runs from the house, scared and crazed, and Wes looks at himself evilly in the mirror. I think this is supposed to suggest he is one of the killers, but I honestly don’t believe he is.

During all this, Grace has missed the drama o’ the moment at Kappa house. The Chanels have offered Denise (who is now living in the house, in #2’s room) $3 million in exchange for proof that Grace and Zayday are the killers. Denise starts her investigation with Jennifer, who has nothing bad to say about Zayday… then she remembers a story Zayday told her from high school, when the rich, popular girls lured her into their clique only to make fun of her. Zayday said that on that day, she would find a way to get real revenge against rich girls. Zayday overhears all this, confronts Jennifer and Denise, and warns them to leave her alone.

Denise goes to talk the Chanels into giving her an advance on the $3 million, to cover expenses. While she is doing that, the Red Devil kills Jennifer while she is recording her vlog. Denise and the Chanels head downstairs and find Jennifer seated upright on the table, covered in lit candles and melted wax. She is very dead.

The dean gives a press conference, announcing she is shutting down the campus indefinitely. “Congrats, Red Devil – you have won.” Hester and Chanel #4 lead a memorial for Jennifer while Chanel is at the Kappa house, screeching about how with school shut down, her whole life is ruined. She has a pair of Scotland Yard officers in the living room, demanding that they investigate, and insinuating that she will pay any price to see Zayday and Grace go to prison. The whole scenario is ridiculous: Chanel got them there by making death threats against the Duchess of Cambridge. Nonetheless, the officers investigate and find that Chanel #5 is her best suspect. She spends a lot of time on the Dark Web and hosts numerous chat rooms where the topic of conversation is always the best way to kill her roommate. Chanel doesn’t care about any of that; she wants proof that Grace and Zayday are killers. The cops don’t have any proof, but they do give her a file with Grace’s mom’s criminal record.

When Grace returns to Kappa house, Chanel confronts her with what Scotland Yard found. Grace’s mother was Kappa president in 1995, the girl in the blue dress who was dancing obsessively to TLC’s “Waterfalls” in the first episode. She hooked up with Wes at the party and nine months later Grace came along, and her life fell apart. She changed her name from Bethany Stevens to Mary Mulligan, and has a rap sheet that includes multiple felonies including theft, drunk driving, and dealing meth. Wes had to sue for sole custody of Grace, and a year later, she died in a drunk driving accident. “You aren’t the baby in the bathtub. Accept that your mom was just a drunk, degenerate slut.” Grace slaps her and leaves. She confronts Wes with what she has learned, and he confirms that what Chanel said was true. Wes burned down their house to cover any evidence of Grace’s mom’s sordid past. “I committed arson to protect you!” he insists, as if that is something to be lauded. He planned to tell Grace the truth one day, but that day never came. Grace reminds him that she is her mother’s daughter and that he should stay away if he wants to protect himself. As soon as Grace leaves, Gigi enters with fake concern for Grace. She is failing out of school, and starting to lose her mind. Gigi suggests Wes take real action… maybe even committing her.

Now that she is living in the Kappa house, Denise has appointed herself house mother and is wearing Chanel #5’s clothes. She takes Chanel aside and chastises her for insulting Grace’s mother. She wants Chanel to apologize, and when she refuses, she threatens to go back to having sex with Chad. Chanel agrees – angrily. She meets Grace for coffee and tries to bond with her over their horrible mothers. Chanel’s mother wouldn’t let her attend her own graduation because she had a zit so big she thought it would bring shame on the family. The girls don’t quite bond, but Grace does accept her apology.

We finally see Boone, the guy who faked his own death in the second episode. He is at the gym when he gets a call. “All I do is work out and kill people,” he whines to the person at the end of the line. It turns out that Gigi was dressed as Antonin Scalia, and Boone is worried she is ruining their “brand.” He wants to kill Gigi, then finish what they planned. 

This was a tough episode to slog through. There were a lot of pointless asides and mini-flashbacks that were maybe supposed to be funny… but they weren’t. It felt like this episode jumped to more conclusions than usual and ultimately was just there to pad out the episode order.

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